Sry I called you an 8
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
