I think my vagina is haunted
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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