All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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