i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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