we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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