Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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