apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
