is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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