Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
