dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
