we're making bets on your personal life
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
