Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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