apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
