Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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