So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize