Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
