Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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