I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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