I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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