Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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