We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
if only i could text you this smell
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize