I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
