if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
