May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
