there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize