Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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