I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize