my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
