I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
