no, he came in my armpit
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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