he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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