i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
