omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
