He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
