he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
