my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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