our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
