there were more penises there than on chat roulette
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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