You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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