She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
