I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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