So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
