Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
