I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
