He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize