He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We don't watch enough power rangers
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize