dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
