one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
