Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
