Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize