How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I would ride that face into the sunset
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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