hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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