Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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