Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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