She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
