I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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