I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Randomize
