At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
