youre lurking in front of me
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
