did you get engaged???
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
