Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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