i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize