I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
