you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
