**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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